Emotions.

On Wednesday we had an appointment with our Midwife, Thalia Hufton. I absolutely adore her! I really think everything will work out just like we want. I was even looking up statistics for America's Pregnancies, out of the 6 MILLION that happen every year only less then 900,000 have one or more complications which is a 15% chance something will go wrong. Out of those 6,000,000 only 4,000,000 are live births, which ups the percent to 22.5%. I'll take those odds, I think they're pretty good. I know some people wouldn't "risk" it but I've done my research, asked my questions, and I've learned midwives can handle so many more "complications" then I thought. It's very comforting.

I teared up about 3 times that day, because it was really settling in that I AM PREGNANT! THERE IS A LIFE INSIDE ME! and I am so excited and happy about it!

I've loved being pregnant since we found out, but I think I knew I was going to love it regardless. Yeah I'm sick all the time (since Tues. the start of 6 weeks), yesterday I was sick all day food didn't help like it normally would, and today I've got the same problem, but some how I love it. I love the reassurance that my hormone levels are great and everything is going great. The midwife even smiled real big when I told her I had been feeling sick.

I love being pregnant, and I honestly feel sorry for those that don't enjoy it, despite the sickness and symptoms and how bad and miserable it may be.

"You are so PREGNANT"

Seems to be something I either say to myself a lot, or Jose's been saying to me. And I LOVE IT!

Yesterday I woke up feeling a little sicker then usual and went to eat a little something and it didn't go away until about 30-45 minutes later, kicked back in around lunch then I was fine, laid down to take a nap and an hour later it was back but then 30 minutes later it got worse so I just continued to sip on my half frozen slushed Ginger-Ale and it helped. This morning, morning sickness came again. Luckily I haven't thrown up or anything but it's just that annoying, nagging icky feeling. I've decided I have a love hate relationship with it.

Yesterday we went and spent the evening at Ben and Michelle's. I baked cookies and took them over and they made homemade wings, cooked up some corn on the cob, and had some yummy bean dip. I haven't had that much salt yet while pregnant and I laughed when I slipped up my wedding ring because I thought it was fitting fairly tight and sure enough I was swollen. I had my bands indented all around my finger. I knew it was swelling because I wasn't sitting on my hands and normally if I do I only have an indent on the top of my hand.

We think I might start to be getting a baby bump as well. Or I really am bloated all the time.

We had an activity at Church on Friday and someone (who just so happened to be male) asked me if the reason I was gaining weight is because...and then I cut him off and said yes I'm Pregnant. I doubt I even weigh 140, and I had just got done eating. It makes me laugh now, but at the time I said to Cecelia Johnston who was next to me "So just cause I'm only 5 weeks and pregnant makes me fat now?" She laughed and told me no.

We have a meeting with our midwife on Wednesday! I'm so excited to meet her and get this ball really rolling.

Google-d

Today Google and www.babycenter.com have been my favorites. I've been on babycenter.com since we were TTC and am obsessed. But today I was researching like I've never done before not even for an English paper. But I love it. I love reading peoples opinions on things. I think I may have found a midwife. Her name is Thalia Hufton, if you know any information about her or anyone that has used her PLEASE let me know. I am going to call her office tomorrow to set up an appointment for a consultation to get a feel of her. I'm hoping everything turns out and everything goes smoothly.

Jose and I feel we have been greatly blessed within the last year, or even the last two years for that matter.

I have a new testimony of the power of prayer, the power of fasting, and going to the temple. I know that if I fully put things in the Lord's hands He will do what He feels best. I know that the the things pertaining to His great plan for us happens on His time if we are worthy to receive such blessings.

Joy-FULL!

The results are in! You know that book I posted about (My Fertility Signals) well it said that you are most likely pregnant if you have not started your next cycle 17 days after obvious ovulation. Today was day 17 and I just knew it was going to be positive. I went in the bathroom this morning around 6:30 this morning and tested. Put the cap back on put the test on the counter, washed my hands and hopped back in bed. Jose said "when can we look?" I told him "I don't know you can look now I guess". He looked and came into the bedroom with a HUGE grin on his face, and told me "You're going to be a MOMMY!" as he showed me the test. He wanted to know what we did next and I said "I don't know I've never seen one of those before!" (talking about a positive pregnancy test)

I think the hardest thing I've ever done is not told a soul we were expecting until we told my Mom around 5:00 this evening. We showed her a picture of the test and she did not believe it she didn't think it was real. I think it's finally settling in for her. I don't think it's hit me yet.

We are approximately 4 weeks pregnant. Our little person is the size of the sesame seed. I am so very excited and so happy I can tell everyone and anyone!

Baby it's Cold Outside

I saw the high today get to 30 today. And with it being Groundhog Day I think East Texas missed the memo that spring was going to happen soon, because apparently we are just now starting Winter.

So I've become obsessed with "The Eades" on Youtube. (Which apparently I'm related to by marriage). Lucy is OCD about tracking her ovulation and fertility and everything it includes. It's quite interesting and kind of inspiring for someone in our situation where we feel like we have hit rock bottom, or at least I feel that way. My mom also gave us/me a book called "Your Fertility Signals" by Merryl Winstein. I read it all the time and I've become more obsessed. I told Jose I thought it would be fun for when we try for baby number 2 after we actually get baby number 1 I thought it would be fun to OCD chart like Lucy, just to see how fast we could get pregnant.

I've noticed as I found Lucy, read the book my Mom gave us, and have been researching; I've become more in harmony with my body and notice the changes. I know that as I continue to do so even if we aren't trying to conceive(TTC), it will help me to notice if something is out of balance and if I need to contact my doctor.

I'm starting to get nervous as it gets closer and closer to a year of trying to turn our family of two into a family of three. I know it will happen before then, because 85% of couples TTC get pregnant within the first year.

Although I am getting excited about buying baby things. Having onesies in my laundry. The smell of babies(when they're clean of course not the messy diaper baby smell, although I am excited about that smell too). Interviewing Midwives. etc.

I am very much wanting a midwife and I am so glad Jose is completely supporting the decision and very open to it. He's nervous about us possibly not delivering in a hospital but if the birth center in Tyler works out we will deliver there and Trinity Mother Francis is only a couple of minutes away. I'd be okay with delivering at home but he doesn't think so. I hate hospitals. I want to be able to trust my body and myself to do the things necessary to have my baby. We will just have to pray that everything with me and the baby goes smoothly and we are able to deliver completely natural as we plan to. My mom says everything should go perfectly fine, it's kind of in my genes. My Aunt has delivered all but one of my cousins at a birth center or at home, the third one was born in a hospital naturally only because her previous midwife retired and she didn't find one that she liked that would do home birth or at a birth center. I love the idea of laboring and delivering at home. How nice would it be to go into labor at home, deliver at home, and not have to wait until someone says "okay we're going to release you today". I just love that idea. Maybe Jose and I will just have to buy a house near a hospital so I can deliver some of our kids at home. My mom's pregnancies were all good, and so were her moms and my dad's mom's and his sister. I should be set.

I can't wait to get big fat and uncomfortable. Just the thought of having a belly bigger then a basketball and waddling when I walk just makes me smile. Beware though the day Jose and I find out we are pregnant I will take belly shots every five seconds and post them everywhere and take all the home pregnancy tests in Longview just because I won't believe my eyes.